AS I write this piece, I am trying to think how often I hear the words “female species”. But I am not sure that it is a common phrase compared with ‘male species’. So I conclude that it is rarely used.  But for ‘male species’, the men themselves use it often to describe themselves which makes me wonder if actually, they, the male gender themselves really understand themselves. But what is obvious is that women will continue to find man’s behaviour baffling and difficult to understand. Yet we need each other to make this world a better place and keep it populated.

Women who have some idea of how to get the most from their men are in “relationship heaven”.  Here are some ways someone suggests you can live with him happily.

For a start, do not make any attempt to challenge his independence; he sees it as his prerogative: whether he is married or not, he thinks of himself as a free entity and would only live by his own rules. But that is difficult to accept in a marriage. So once he is with you, make him aware that he is a responsible adult who heads a family. But tread gently, his fierce attempt to maintain his freedom stems from his playful nature, so indulge him, after all, his playful nature is what makes your relationship fun.

But when there is work to do however, the behaviour is no longer funny. That is When to remind him that he has responsibility as the head of the family.

My uncle was one example. A serious player in the boardroom in his own time, he turned to this mere boy on weekends. On Saturdays, he would have driven in and out of the house three times before breakfast at 8a.m., dressed in jeans and tee-shirt. On the dining table, the wife who always wondered where he went would ask questions and discuss the news. But in a good mood, she would point out that she had loaded the washing machine with his clothes and that of their four children. In a lighter mood, she would inform him, she needed his help with them. With time, he did not want to be told about them. As early as 7am, he had done the washing.

Don’t Shout At Him

Talk calmly even when you feel really annoyed with him. When he does something you did not like, do not confront him immediately. If you do, you will shout out of anger. But when you speak in a quiet tone, he understands what he did wrong than when you scream or refuse to speak to him.

Touch him as you speak to him. Your touch not only conveys how you feel, it also shows that you are appealing to him.

Reward Good Deeds

If he behaves in an annoying manner, frown instead of telling him to stop. A man sees himself as unencumbered by etiquette.  So he won’t stop misbehaving and he may continue because he thinks that you are trying to correct him. Ignore him; his intention is not to annoy you but just to pull your legs. When he sees that you are not happy with his behaviour, he will stop.

But make sure to react pleasantly when he behaves in a manner that pleases. Hold his hands and laugh into his eyes. React the moment he does something nice and he will know what he did to earn that pass mark.

Watch Your Body Language

Your posture when you argue says so much. Impart the message that you are both there to work at issues together. Do not take a posture that says that you want to resolve issues physically. If you stand with hands on your hips and feet wide apart, he automatically squares himself and wants to fight back. Do not give him the impression that you are too submissive, either. Act confident. If you stand quietly, head tilted to one side, he sees you as someone to treat any way he wants to.

He Is Not Romantic?

Teach him and he will learn. Plan outings that involve only the two of you. Buy gifts for him. With time, he catches on that you expect him to do the same things. On the long, he will understand that affection is what nurtures friendship.