I WANT to share my story with you because my husband is constantly telling me that I have no right to be upset/suspicious. I am going to make this as short as possible, so here is my story.

I caught my husband seeing a girl behind my back a few months after moving in together. I asked him to stop, he said he did. She then e-mailed me and told me he cheated. He flew off the handle, saying if I believed her that he was going to dump me. I told him I didn’t believe him, but that I would stay with him anyways, and we needed to try to move on from this trauma. I later caught him with another female. I flipped because of everything we had already been through the first time. He said he didn’t do anything (again) and changed his phone number (that was, in his mind, somehow supposed to prove that he only wanted me).

From that point forward (the next two years), I thought everything was great with us. We ended up buying a house, getting engaged, and planning a future together. Then, about three months ago, I found out he was talking to the other woman the entire time, and using his work phone to do so. He also screwed the bitch on my couch in our home we bought together, within two weeks of having bought the home - and he gave me HPV (Human papilloma virus) because he didn’t use protection.

When I finally found out, we had already gotten married and our son was seven months old. He keeps telling me to get over it, gets raging mad at me (screams so loud the baby cowers into my shoulder and hides) when I break down about it or even if I mention it, and otherwise treats me pretty horrible. Am I the happiest person in the world right now? No. I am sure I am difficult to live with because I am so depressed, angry, and hurt over what happened; but if he hadn’t spent the first year and a half of our relationship destroying the trust, I wouldn’t be those things.

I still do my best to be happy though, but whenever I can’t keep the facade, he flips out on me —- so bad that one night he was arrested. He says all of our problems are because of me, because I can’t get over it and just trust him. He tells me that it was my fault he cheated. I don’t know what I did wrong. I waited on him hand and foot, gave him the best sex of his life (he admits to that, along with my other five ex’s —- I am not tooting my own horn and am shy talking about myself in bed.. but I figure you people will never know who I am), was always there for anything he needed, and dumped all of my “acquaintances” for him so I could spend 99% of my time with him.

He said that because I was independent, he cheated —- my fault. I didn’t know being independent gets you cheated on. Am I supposed to hang on his every word and action? Plan my life around the possibility that he may want me to do something? Back then, before I had a son (which is when he did all the cheating, according to him), I had friends and family that I saw every so often, and he always had an open invitation to join me. How does that amount to deserving to be cheated on? The only thing I have asked of him over the last three months is to enroll in personal counseling to resolve his anger and lying issues, and to take the Wellbutrin prescribed to him on a regular basis (which is supposed to help with the mood swings). None of which he has done over the last three months.

I need support, because he has me convinced at times that I am the crazy one. I just need confirmation either way. Am I crazy? Is this all my fault? Should I be over it by now and able to restore to him implicit trust?

CULLED FROM: www.experienceproject.com

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