Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every women have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (I Cor. 7 vs 2 – 3).

SEX is beautiful. It is one of God’s great relief treatments. It should not be exhausting, it should be refreshing. It is only exhausting when we want to be rated; so we perform. But if expressed with love, it is soothing. Sex is natural. Let’s not begin to attach superstition to it. We should avoid fornication, but we can’t avoid sex. It is part of us. So Paul encourages us to marry. To do justice to our article this week, let’s see what we can do.

1. Have our own partner: You should have sex only with your own. How can someone be your own if you are not legally married, or you meet in hotels, and secret places to have sex? Just settle down with this person, and enjoy without guilt or fear, your love trip.

2. Stay clean for your partner. To really be attractive, be clean. Bathe reqularly. Cut nails, trim pubic hair, share neatly, keep clothes clean. Control offensive body odours.

3. Stay healthy. Avoid infections. Be faithful to your partner. Save yourself the pressure and filth of guilt. Treat infections promptly.

4. Render it benevolently. Some things we call sex is not benevolent at all. It should be what we offer to our spouse, not what we intend to get. Paul said the man should ‘render due benevolence’. The goal is to make your spouse satisfied. There are things that can be done if there is a deficiency.

5. Be open to each other. Share experience, fantasies and love with each other. Let your spouse know what turns you on. Don’t be difficult to please. Let your spouse know what you want and how.

6. Enjoy what you have. Big dick is not what satisfies, it is the man that does satisfy. If you accept what you have and love it, it is definitely enough. All those things you think others have that your wives do not have are, in your imagination. Enjoy each other.

7. ‘Due benevolence’ starts with fore play. Sex in marriage needs plenty of love, tenderness, caressing, kissing, touches – not just ‘banging’ and ‘jerking’. You need to simply enjoy each others’ body. See, no one has it all. And nothing is a total disadvantage. No matter the biological problem, enjoying each other, staying with each other, and using available means of excitement will bond you more.

8. You are not in a show, or are you trying to impress? We have somehow over exaggerated sex that we think we are in the stadium whenever we have sex. We want to perform. A hug, a hold, tender whispers, touches, plays, will reach the heart faster. As a matter of fact, it is not the dick or bum, or breast that is the only sex organ of the body. The largest sex organ is the skin. Touch everywhere, feel each other, and you would be surprised how nature favours affectionate intimacy.

E. C. SAMUEL

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