Mr. Najeem M.Akinyemi, a polygamist admitted that physical or sexual attraction is the major factor that drives many men into multiple marriages, He shared his experience with BANKOLE SHAKIRUDEEN ADESHINA.

EITHER by fate or circumstance, Mr. Najeem Mustapha Akinyemi is a polygamist married to three women—one already divorced him.

Initially, he detested the idea of polygamy but yet, fell into it.

A transporter who knew the economic burdens that come with multiple women, Akinyemi was determined to be monogamist until fate turned the tide against him. And for this, he would forever blame his ‘supposed’ first wife, whom he said had since left him:

“Unfortunately, I married a wife who was very aggressive and nagging. Her attitude became so unbearable that to avoid trouble, I had to slip into heavy drinking and keeping late nights. But as God would have it, during this trying time, I met a Good Samaritan, whom God used to rescue me from the path of destruction.

“She was so loving and caring. She took good care of me. She would always prepare good meal for me and counsel me against drinking to stupor and any other stupid ideas.  She was the type of person I had always wanted as my wife. And for this reason, I had to marry her.”

But marrying a second wife caused a serious battle that the young man never bargained for.  “My first wife became more aggressive, hostile and intolerable. And I had no choice than to do the needful, which was to let her go,” he reminisced.

While acknowledging that polygamy is economically expensive, Akinyemi said it also aids healthy competition.

“ One interesting thing about my polygamous experience is that all my wives are driven by a sense of competition to give their children the best training and education. For me, this is a good one. And apart from the initial problems, all my children are united and inseparable.”

Akinyemi soon fell in love with another women.

He submitted that there is a thin line between polygamy and adultery:

“Islam is very explicit on this. You must not throw yourself into adultery by engaging in polygamy without observing the principle of equity. If one wife requests N10,000 from me and I am able to give her, I would not wait for the second wife to ask before giving her, say N5,000. By that, I believe I have tried to balance the scale. It’s only the Almighty Allah that can be (perfectly) fair.”

He agreed that among several factors that could drive a man into polygamy, economic buoyancy and sexual compatibility of the couple are fundamental.

Naturally, he said, men are sexually more active than women, adding that to exercise this libido, one woman, especially with inferior libido, can not withstand or satisfy such a man. Hence his insistence, based on personal conviction and the many inevitable temptations posed by many irresistibly beautiful women all over, that men are naturally designed to be polygamists.

“By nature, a woman can never be enough for a man. This is because a man is naturally a polygamist. That is why you will see many stranded women begging and praying fervently for husbands, besides the huge numbers who are professional whores.  All these are because of the imbalance in the number. However, I’m not saying that there are no genuine monogamists, but they are very rare. In every 10 men, you can hardly find one sincere monogamist—it’s either he is married to one wife and keeps concubine(s) or has secret wives,” he added.

But where is the principle of equity, if a man is allowed to marry as many as he wants and a woman is denied the same privilege?

Such a puzzle is better left to God for clarification, Akinyemi replied.

He said, “For instance, if you see a beautiful woman now and you get so attracted to her that you can’t but approach her. And fortunately enough, you have your way. Would that stop you from admiring another and more beautiful woman elsewhere? No! A real man is meant to respond to these temptations, but positively and according to the established laws.”