YOU have been married for ten years now and know that as far as success in a relationship goes, you have achieved it all. You have four children who do well in school. Their school fees,  runs in seven figures, per term, so you feel secure that money is not an issue. Yet, you have this feeling that you are not happy.

There are many couples like you. They literally have it all —- all of the above plus a spouse who has not given them  serious cause to worry or feel that their union would one day be in trouble. Yet, you worry.

It goes to prove that the above, all of them, material things do not make for happiness. But they are important, so build on them as the foundation of your happiness this New Year and beyond by making these your motto: I am Happy Today, which is what matters to me. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Take what today gives you, whether it is a good or bad experience. What have you learned from it and how can it enrich your life? Worrying about tomorrow will not stop it from dawning. If it is disappointment that comes with it worrying before it happens would not stop it. Or do you know what could happen and how to prevent it?  If tomorrow and what it brings is beyond you, worrying about it will take up the energy you would use to deal with it.

Instead of worry, resolve to be more communicative with each other. Discuss what worries you and cause you to argue. Look at the achievements of the past year even when they appear small, they will help you to look forward together. But look at those areas of your life that have caused tension and look at how to work them out together.

Your Partner Won’t Change

Do not waste your energy trying to change each other. Hang to those qualities that made you marry him. Think of them when you feel upset. You have mentioned those annoying habits many times with negative results. You have done what is expected of you. Ignore them and he will learn from his mistakes.

Admittedly, it is difficult to live with what causes annoyances, but you try love instead of criticism. Instead of criticizing the habits, make fun of the situation, you will feel relief. If he continues, show him by example how his behaviour makes you unhappy. If his late night causes you anxiety, tell him you cannot sleep because you are worried about his safety.

Be more communicative

Mention it the moment your better half annoys you. If you keep quiet, it builds up and can lead to a serious argument later. He may not know that he upsets you by some actions. So he fails to understand when you become angry.  If he does not understand why you are angry, you will feel annoyed the more. So your anger keeps building up. Make your relationship the example for other couples, this year; speak out when something you do not like happens. Discuss incident as they happen and do not bring up past issues when you are settling a new one.