‘Nothing on this planet can compare to a woman’s love- it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure’.
IF you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain just for you no matter how you’ve acted or mistreated her. If you are her man, she would talk to you till there’s no more to say, encourage you when you are at rock bottom, hold you in her arms when you are sick and laugh with you when you are back up. If you are her man and that woman loves you, I mean really loves you, she’ll shine you up when you are dusty, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right and hang on your every word even when you are not saying anything worth listening to and no matter what you do and no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slammed the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and keep trying to win over your heart even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s ‘The One’ just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love. It stands the test of time, logic and all circumstances. And that is exactly how we expect all men to love us in return. But to be true and honest with ourselves, expecting that kind of love from our men is just unrealistic. Plain and simple, because a man’s love isn’t like a woman’s love. Now it’s not that they are not capable of loving like that, it’s just that a man’s love is simple, direct, and probably a little harder to come by.
Now here’s a fact: While women fall in love almost instantly, men fall in love in “stages.” So what are these stages, and how do you move him from one stage to another?
Here’s a question to think about: When you fall in love with a new guy, how can you tell if what you’re feeling really is love or just infatuation? Here’s the short answer: When it’s true love, it’s big. It lasts forever. It can forgive flaws and stand the test of time. But perhaps most importantly, True love is returned to you! On the other hand, infatuation is just another term for “huge crush.” It’s like true love, but only temporary and empty like a “quick fix.” And most times, infatuation is not returned to you. So here’s how to tell if you’re just infatuated, and not in love:
You’re Doing All The Work
If you are the one scheduling all your dates, making sure he’s happy, and suggesting activities to keep the relationship growing, it’s probably infatuation! Trust me.
Everything Moves Too Fast
If your relationship started in a flash without a clear dating period, courtship period and all that, then it’s probably infatuation. What’s more, you’re probably in trouble if he wants sex right away and you give it to him within the first three months. But trust me, these days sex happens within the first two to three weeks. Everybody is in a hurry. And the reason this happens is ….
You Agree To A Friends-With Benefits Setup
When a man has sex with you within the first two to three weeks/ months of your relationship, there’s a good chance it kills any romantic attraction he may have for you. And that means he’ll only want you for the sex and he might even ask if it’s “okay” with you. If you say “yes,” you’ve fallen into a trap! A while back, I wrote something on friends with benefit. You can go back and fully understand what I’m talking about.
Why It’s Easy To Be Fooled By Infatuation
Sadly, we women fall too easily into the infatuation trap. It’s simply because while we fall in love hard and fast by nature, men fall in love more slowly. While our feelings for him may already be on “Level 7” on a scale of 1 to 10, he might still be on “Level 3.” And what usually happens is this: We get frustrated. We get impatient. We get tired of waiting for him! And it’s pretty hard not to get frustrated when you’re 100% invested in your new relationship, while he’s like indifferent about it. This frustration soon boils over into nagging, misunderstandings, and arguments. Eventually, the breakup happens and we’re left wondering how “true love” could be so fake!
Now guess what? This “imbalance” of feelings towards each other is actually the leading cause of breakups. And according to experts, couples break up because one partner wants more than the other partner can give. It’s usually that simple. Some women have asked: “Isn’t cheating the leading cause of breakups?” It’s easy to think that, but the answer is actually “no.” Cheating is just a symptom, a manifestation of the imbalance of love. So are the other relationship poisons: fear, anger, hatred, and so on. They all have the same root —- an imbalance of love for each other! It’s like being on a long road trip, and the driver is driving way too fast and when you ask him or her to slow down, they get mad at you. Trust me, that’s how guys feel when a woman rushes the relationship! So, how do you make a guy stay on the ride until you reach your destination? Drive at a speed you’re both comfortable with! Simple.
Now on moving forward together, the best way to guarantee a successful relationship is to have more or less the same level of love for each other from beginning to end. And admittedly, that’s a big challenge for women. It’s hard for us to keep our emotions in control when we’re truly, madly, deeply in love with him! My advice? As your relationship moves along, pace yourself. Focus on the moment. Don’t think too far into the future, and guide him through the stages. That way, you’ll be hand-in-hand as your relationship grows and matures!
But here’s the big question: What are the “stages” that men go through when falling in love?
There are two actually: The “Attraction” stage and the “Love” stage. And the problem is that we women are experts at the “Love” stage but we’re not too skilled at the “Attraction” stage. You need to keep him interested at all times. So, why not be experts at both stages. Once again let me repeat this very important piece of advice “Attraction Is Not Love! Don’t get it twisted, ok!
To the relationship we all deserve, good luck in love and life. Cheers.
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