WHY do people at some point in their lives do what they know to be a cardinal no-no in relationships – cheating? Something you do and one day you wake up and three-quarters of everyone you know hates you because they found out? Anyone who has been a victim knows it’s so awful. Some men blame biology, insisting that it is the most efficient way to ensure that the species flourishes. Technically and reproductively speaking, that is true. Whereas many believe that man is polygamous by nature, others feel it’s a cover-up for their search for variety.
All these, incidentally, help explain the persistent sex appeal of successful, dominant men. Whether they be high-ranking politicians, movie or music stars, glamorous athletes or wealthy entrepreneurs; power, as Henry Kissinger once noted, is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Without further ado or confusing rationalizations, read these other reasons men claim are behind their actions.
They aren’t having it as much as they’d like to
After a certain age, we commit to someone because we like her an awful lot and need a socially defensible way to sleep with her on a regular basis. That is marriage. Now, let’s be adults here, sex is one of the most important parts of a healthy marriage relationship. It is also what separates friendship from a romantic involvement.
No matter how emotionally fulfilling a relationship might be, if it is sexually inadequate, it is more frustrating than having no relationship at all. Men tend to jettison such incomplete relationship and see cheating as an option.
They were cheated on
Some men who have been cheated on feel that evening up the score will iron everything out. However, never has hurting someone made you feel less hurt yourself. Though this may probably make a lot of sense to young people in casual relationships, it is counter-productive in marriage.
They want to know they’ve “still got it”
Everyone has a deep-seated need to feel wanted and attractive, not just by their significant others, but by the public at large. That’s why you clean yourself up when you’re just going out with your friends, or why your lady friend puts on makeup even if she’s just going shopping. Even the occasional harmless flirting by or with an attractive member of the opposite sex can put a little extra pep in your step, and that’s fine, because it’s likely that your partner will reap the benefits. For a truly insecure man, though, that won’t be enough. He needs to actually score, in order to feel validated. If you combine the insecurity here with a sexually frustrating marriage we first discussed, it’s almost understandable why some men stray.
They couldn’t say ‘no’
If we’re being honest, we know that there are often those gorgeous women walking around, waving their assets in men’s faces and handing out open invitations for sexual intercourse. Most men have, at some point in their lives, had such attractive women really come on strong to them. How they handle it depends on several factors, especially their dating status. If single, they hit it like it owes them money. Not single? They know what the answer should be, but do they have the willpower?
The kind of man who gives in to this kind of temptation is often less experienced with women. He believes it to be an opportunity he can’t pass up. But one who has been around the block a time or two, sees that kind of come-on for what it is: abnormal, desperate and kind of a turnoff.
They find their partner less appealing than before
Sometimes in a long-term relationship, people let themselves go. Maybe she’s gained a ton of weight, maybe she’s developed a drinking problem or maybe she just can’t seem to package herself well enough. Whatever it is, the problem with familiarity is that you don’t notice these things as they happen over time, the way you would with a friend or relative you don’t see very often.
You wake up one day and realize that the creature sharing your apartment is a far cry from the girl you first said “I love you” to. Again, for some men, it comes down to choosing between having a difficult and potentially fruitless discussion with her, and just chasing tail elsewhere.
The love is lost
Love (or at least feelings), we learn as we get older, is a big part of what makes great sex great. Take those away, and you’re just two animals humping. When love has been thrown overboard and a marriage is devoid of feelings, it’s tempting to replace those lost feelings with the excitement that comes with meeting and bedding someone new.
So are these reasons, excuses, explanations, or rationalizations? They all belie the simple fact that he is involved in something in which he does not fully wish to be involved. If you feel like you’re going to cheat, try to determine if it is for any of the above reasons (or something altogether different) and see if it can be resolved. This is because, cheating, above all else, is an act of disrespect and cowardice.
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