Guardian

ALHAJI Kabir Yusuf, a staunch Muslim, is a 48-year-old civil servant, officially married to two wives. He spoke with BANKOLE SHAKIRUDEEN ADESHINA.

Yusuf explained that temptations that drive men into polygamy include barrenness, sexual incompatibility, incessant quarreling … among others.

“ I had my first marriage in 1980. And like a young and progressive minded human being, it was never part of my agenda to have two wives, even though my religion permits it. I have always pitied the polygamists, especially those having troubles to reconcile their wives.

“And for good 25 years, I kept this ideal until 2005 when I married my second wife. Maybe it was an act ordained by Allah. Something led to something and I become a polygamist and surprisingly, since then, I have never had course to regret it for one day.

“ However, the major reason why polygamy is very good is that it prevent loneliness during the old age of the husband, as the younger wife will serve as a loyal companion when the first wife’s children begin to bear their own children and the woman is obliged to go and assist them in child-bearing. With a second woman around, whose children will of course be much younger as at that time, the companionship can not be broken so soon.

“ Apart from the companionship, the second and younger wife tends to have more interest and time for the husband and takes care of him more than the older wife whose main concerns now revolves around the wellbeing of her children only.

“ Having said that, the most important thing to consider before pushing for the idea of polygamy is the ability to strike a balance between the wives. If your strength and means do not take more than one wife, do not copy others and subject yourself to the wrath awaiting the violators of the prescribed polygamy creeds by the Quran.”