EVELYN is a mother of three. Jude 9, Julia 4 and Jerry 2. As a career couple, both husband and wife leave very early and return very late to the house. During the critical periods both are outside the house pursuing their career as lawyers, their children are in the custody of their dutiful maid, Angel. Eighteen years old Angel attends a neighbourhood private secondary school.
Angel spends much of her time reading romantic literature and watching pornography on her phone. Consequently, she has initiated Jude into her immoral lifestyle. She uses the boy to practice what she learns from those avenues. Consequently, Jude is already sexually active. When she newly arrived Evelyn’s home, two years back, it was difficult to arouse the boy’s interest but by using food and sweet as rewards, she was able to capture the boy. She would begin by luring Jude to her room and then request him to follow her footsteps. Gradually she would remove her dresses and request Jude to do same. Next, she would begin to touch and caress his genitals and request him to follow her example.
What is paedophilia? It is a psychological disorder whereby adults sexually abuse children or minors. It can occur as a heterosexual or homosexual abuse. Most times, it goes on undictated and unnoticed because normally, most of us don’t suspect such a degrading phenomenon to be in practice.
The typical Paedophile is an opportunist. She squanders the wealth and weight of confidence reposed on her. Like we noted in Angel’s case, she is trusted with the lives of three young children but, she like Judas is a traitor. She was brought into a decent and middle class home, a far cry from her humble one, yet she abuses the opportunity.
The Paedophile thrives in secrecy. Due to the innocence and ignorance of most children, paedophiles easily abuse them right under the roof of their parents. They may use the weapon of reward or punishment to influence the victim, (a minor) to keep mute about the abuse. Of course, neither will the perpetrators confess the evil they are engaged in until something drastic happens. In some cases, they will neither accept responsibility nor confess their evil deeds.
Another characteristic of paedophiles is that they suffer inferiority complex. Their inability to approach fellow adults for sexual expression is transfigured into the sexual abuse of minors. They have a dysfunctional personality.
Paedophiles are solicitous and in offering help, they are manipulative. They use their seemingly helpful tendency as a veneer to manipulate people so that they can engage in their nefarious act of sexual child abuse.
In a very remarkable way, paedophiles have some form of significant advantage over their victims. In the absence of Evelyn, Angel was in charge of the home and could use different rewards to entice the boy, Jude. Immoral and wicked teachers could perpetrate a similar evil among their pupils, religious leaders among their impressionable young flock, family members and friends among children in the home.
Paedophilia isn’t a recent abuse. It has existed since mortals began to inhabit our globe. What type of relationship exist between a middle aged suitor and an eight year old bride? What is child marriage? Why wouldn’t an adult marry an adult? The age difference may be as high as anybody can imagine but, let it be that both partners are adults.
Engaging a minor in sexual relationship is consequential. Due to the incomplete development of the child, the result is a harvest of damages – physical, psychological social and spiritual. Such a dastard act will create medical problems for the minor. Pains, unnecessary blessing, infection and lacerations may likely occur.
Psychologically, that child may grow up becoming promiscuous or develop hatred for sexual relationship. For a female child, rigidity and vaginismus may be the result of paedophilia. Moreover, the victim will likely correlate sexual relationship with fear and material reward. Again, sexual abuse of minors can result to phobia and hatred for the opposite sex. Carried into adulthood, this can pose problem in marriage. Some of us are familiar with comments like, ‘men are terrible; men are beasts; all men are selfish; all they want is sex. On the other side, we hear such comments like, women are manipulative; they are only interested in a man’s pocket. All these are signs of gender rivalry and phobia which may be rooted in childhood abuse.
How can we protect our children from paedophiles? Parents should be careful in their choice of maids and house helps. Before you decide on whom to trust the care of your children to, make inquiries about them. Get necessary pieces of information like their strengths and weaknesses, appetites, habits, hobby and bio data. Also ask them direct question on their level of sexual exposure. Let them undergo basic medical examination like weights, height, urine, blood, and eyes tests. They can also undergo tests for sexually transmitted diseases (STD).
Equally regard them as your own children and treat them as such. Truly, love covers a multitude of sins. The children should be taught to respect their bodies and to report any form of abuse to their parents. On their own side, parents especially mothers should be available to supervise the children as well as ask questions about their well-being.
Furthermore, parents should keep watchful eyes over other family members and friends who visit their home as well as interact with their children. Avoid leaving your children with people in closed rooms. Educate the children on the sanctity of the body and teach them to report any abuse promptly. Endeavour to meet their needs so that they will neither fall prey to material nor financial enticements.
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
| < Prev |
|---|
