Guardian

“If any one does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:6)

TODAY, in the Catholic calendar, we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family. A family unit, basically, consists of parents and children. The Holy Family is made up of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Theirs is a typical example of how a family unit should be. What are the things we should look out for in an ideal family setting?

The family unit should provide its members with love, care, food, shelter, companionship, warmth and spiritual growth. Unfortunately, we have neglected our African family values where no one goes hungry and we all are our brother’s keeper. In those days, armed robbery and other social vices were considered taboo. Ill-gotten wealth was frowned upon. You were valued for what you were and not necessarily for what you had. Today, the family unit is in turmoil. There is high level of divorce and illegitimate children. It is a pity that the young men and women of Africa are shunning their traditional culture and roots for a more convenient and westernised form of living without considering the implications.

But it is not yet too late to make amends. How? The man as the head of the home must be honourable. He should be ready to take the full responsibility that comes with his position. He must be ready to trust and not be hasty in condemning his partner. He must be seen to be fair in all his actions. In the first instance, we find Joseph an honourable man, confronted with a dilemma over the condition of his betrothed, Mary, who was heavy with child– even though he never knew her. He was at a loss on what to do, since such was abominable in the society. But, rather than subject her to ridicule, he decided to, secretly, put an end to the relationship. In the process, he received a message from an angel who warned him to desist from doing so because the baby was of the Holy Spirit. What did Joseph do? He obeyed the warning of the angel and took Mary as wife. The rest is history. The moral is that when there is doubt and suspicion in the family, we must seek the face of God for clarification.

An ideal family should be prayerful. A family that prays together stays together. In an atmosphere of prayer, the presence of God would always be felt. Joseph was a man of prayer; hence he made himself easily disposed to receiving messages from God and obeying the same. When Herod was seeking to kill Jesus, the angel of the Lord appeared, once more, to Joseph and told him to take both the mother and child to Egypt. He obeyed. Had he been disobedient, Jesus would have died in infancy.

Let us, for a change, consider the outstanding qualities of Mary, wife of Joseph and mother of Jesus. When the angel of God came and told her she would be having a child, despite not knowing any man, she never doubted. She did not panic. Being a lowly maid of the Lord, one who was used to the ways of God, one who understood that God works in mysterious ways, she humbled herself and became a willing vessel for God to fulfill his pact with mankind. How many women today would gladly submit themselves to carry such enormous responsibility? The day Mary accepted to be the mother of the Saviour, her life changed. She became more than just an ordinary person. She became a part of the Divine, before, during and after the birth of Christ. Throughout the gospel, we read about her being supportive of her son’s vocation. She never asserted her will on Joseph or Jesus. Rather, she was content to play her assigned role as dutiful mother and wife. What a wonderful privilege it is to be a willing vessel in the hands of God.

Contentment should be the hallmark of an ideal home. Unfortunately, that is no more the case. The struggle to acquire the good things of life has made many parents lose touch with their children. They leave home very early in the morning and come back late in the night. What kind of home do we hope to raise? We must endeavour to spend quality time with our children. It is very important.

Very Rev. Msgr. Gabriel Osu is the Director, Social Communications, Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos.

We must strive to know the type of people our children associate with. We must communicate with our children and share their thoughts and feelings, so that they can grow up to become wholesome humans who can stand on their own. Our higher institutions are filled with half-baked children who have been deprived of parental care and love. Why do you think we have so many children from rich homes that are involved in cultism? It is because they are seeking, in a wrong way, for a means to express themselves, to be loved and accepted.

An ideal family should appreciate the dignity of labour. Wives should desist from comparing their husband’s bank account with that of their neighbour. Joseph was a humble carpenter and Mary accepted him for what he is. Often, Jesus was referred to as the son of a carpenter. He even took it upon himself to assist his father. God allowed His Son to be born into a lowly family so as to teach us that there is nothing wrong in working hard to earn a living. On the other hand, those who like to earn money without working for it are doing a disservice. We must all appreciate the dignity of labour. True happiness does not necessarily come with much wealth. We must encourage love to thrive in the family. Parents should teach their children the fear of God and love for neighbours. Every one is crying about corruption without taking time to get to the roots. We are losing touch with our African roots and embracing foreign customs and traditions. When a society begins to make materialism the centre of its activities, corruption would hold sway.

My prayer, this New Year, is that God will mend all broken homes and instil in us all a new love for our families. May this come to pass through Christ our Lord, amen.