AT wedding ceremonies, couples pledge fidelity to each other. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long before they start looking out and trouble starts creeping in. Could it be boredom or dearth of interest? What could have happened to all that love they professed to each other during courtship and on their wedding day?
Redbook polled about 5,000 married men and then 5,000 married women to find out the secrets of their sex lives.
One flattering result they got is that more than half the men say they lust after their spouses as much as they did when they met. Some want their wives even more than they used to.
However, many of them, in spite of their answers still have a lot going on in their minds. They have some secret wishes they wouldn’t mind their wives tried. Some of those wishes which their wives take for granted, are what they search for, outside their marriages. According to the survey, those wishes include the following:
Enthusiasm. Three things are involved here. They wish their wives liked having sex with them. “We’d go ape wild if you initiated sex more often. And we would like a little more spontaneity and a little less convenient sex.”
Variety. They wish you’d agree and love to try something new. “We wouldn’t mind picking up a new sex book and reading it with you. Laughing and making jokes while we do it. We just want to try out some wacky sex positions. Let’s do any little or big thing to change things up every other month.”
Adventure. They want the wives to be very, very naughty, at least, once in a while. “Some ideas from book and videos can be a good guide for us. The quickies, playful spankings and others. How can you play out your fantasy in light-hearted but adventurous ways?”
Generosity. They want their wives to stop being stingy with sex. “They feign all kinds of sicknesses and hoard sex. We wish they are more truthful, open and more generous.”
Authenticity. According to the survey, men wish women stopped faking orgasms. “Faking orgasms is a no-no. Making like you’re having fun when you’re not is another unsexy thing to do. Speak up, tell me what you want and like. I’ll love you long time for it.”
Attention. They wish you make time to bond with them, not just in bed but at other times, too. “Let’s talk when the kids go to bed. Let’s watch a TV show together. Make a glass of tea or maybe vodka every once a while when the house is quiet.”
Courage. They wish you could speak up about your sexual desire. “Talk openly if you want more sex. Even if we don’t, we would reach a compromise. Then talk about it again soon. The person who gets rejected—-and it can be the man or the woman who wants it more—-feels badly if you don’t talk. And definitely just take those clothes off and do it whenever you can.”
Confidence. They wish you could overcome your insecurities and enjoy sex. “This is the sexiest—and cheapest—thing you can wear to bed. Own that body of yours. Own what you can do with it. If you work it, he will enjoy the ride.”
Physical Attraction. Everybody likes good things. Men wish you package your body well, look and feel sexy in spite of your weight. “We are not worried about what you weigh. He just wants you to maybe not wear those cover-all nighties so often. Believe him when he says you’re beautiful and sexy. And, hey, it doesn’t hurt to have sexy hair, too.”
Get Away. They wish for more fun and adventure with you. “Can you go on a second honeymoon? Maybe you can spring for a sitter and get a hotel room. You just need a getaway—however big or small. Just once in a while, to reconnect and have great sex.”
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