IRENE came home and met the whole floor covered with water; apparently, someone forgot to turn off the tap before leaving the house. She was very furious, and recounted how many times she had told her children to check the tap before leaving home.
‘Who was the last person to leave the house this morning?’ she asked herself over and over.
‘I’m going to give that person a piece of my mind,’ she said, as she cleaned up the water. After some minutes, she remembered that she was actually the person who made the mistake.
‘How could I have forgotten? Very unlike me,’ she mused.
This scenario is typical in many homes and offices. Everybody thinks of whom to blame whenever things go wrong. Everybody wants to absolve him/herself of the blame. Seldom will you see anybody think of him/herself as the problem first; the other person is always the problem.
This is very true in many-a-marriage relationship. The wife always thinks her husband is the problem and the husband feels if only his wife will change her ways, then they would have that perfect marriage that others will envy. Many marriages have ended in divorce because of the ‘blame game’.
The truth of the matter is that everybody needs to change before expecting to see situation change. It is expedient that when we have issues with our spouse, the first thing that we need do is to seek for ways to talk things over, even if this means apologising when we are right.
It is healthy to keep the communication channel open no matter what it takes. Blaming one another is not one of the ways to keep the line open. Hence, when issues arise, we should critically look at what we could have done better, rather than what the other person failed to do or could have done.
Since it takes two to tango, both husband and wife should avoid blaming each other and see the whole thing as a learning process, having it in mind that there is room for improvement in the relationship.
HAVING a healthy marriage relationship involves sacrifice; you give up some things, deny yourself of some privileges, play down the ‘I’ syndrome and embrace ‘we’.
When you do not feel like letting go of that hurt, you remind yourself that ‘we’ are a team and a divided team has little or no chance of winning, so, you decide to be the ark builder, I assure you, in no time, your spouse will join in building of the ark.
Always look forward to a win-win situation when issues arise, rather than wanting to win all the time. Whether you are a man or woman, decide to make your marriage work and give it all it takes, you will be surprised at the kind of progress you will make in your marriage.
Go ahead today and mend that fence, be the first person to apologise, keep the line open. Send that SMS; make that call, send that e-mail now. Your marriage will succeed.
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