I HAD a lot of questions and reactions from the articles that focused on sexual performance and I’ve tried to explain what we want to achieve with those articles. I really appreciate all the responses but I shall gently touch some of the sensitive questions.
1. Most persons are concerned about the amount of time required before ejaculation. The man wants to know if two minutes or 20 minutes means a difference in satisfaction. And I have this to say: please stop being a performance freak. Enjoy fore play with your spouse. Touches are more satisfying. Cuddling and caressing will bring better sexual fulfillment. Practically, I need say that we can have multiple orgasm without ejaculation. I advise men to guide their excitement away from the penis. Keep it controlled by the brain. You do that by concentrating on parts of the body that are not necessarily the genitals. The ears, neck, arms, waist, back of the knee, feet, can be very erotic. Paying attention and gently treating each other with tenderness will do more satisfaction. Do something different.
2. Also to delay ejaculation would require practice. A lot has been written against masturbation yet I believe that people don’t really know until they know. We can practice delayed ejaculation when we masturbate. We can control it, until we learn how to do so in real intercourse. Masturbation, contrary to what people have said, does not inhibit sexual performance. Much of the problems of our sexual relationships is due to superstitions and traditions we have not even proven. Most of them are mere assumptions. We need to let go of them to really enjoy our relationships. We must learn much about how our bodies work, and be very positive. Unreal guilt can be dangerous. I mean, guilt formed by people’s opinion and not necessarily scriptural injunction.
3. Not all sexual problems are solved with drugs. Right relationships, and attitudes, counseling, and prayers will help more then drugs. Most are not medical cases, they are merely psychological. Some men hardly retain erections. They have some natural stops. Like noise, intrusion, distraction, monotony, pressure... etc. we are not all the same. Some people just shut down once they hear a bad news or haven’t resolved a quarrel. Sex is mostly controlled by the brain. So don’t be quick to have drugs. Talk to someone, share a secret, pray. Really pray. Don’t think that because it is sex it can’t be surrendered to God.
4. Try discussing the problem with your spouse. Have sessions with your spouse, and if need be see a specialist. Maybe some people need visit a therapist in most general hospitals or teaching hospitals. You will find the answers you seek!
5. Sex positions matter a lot. We need to know which best suits our condition, height, weight or size of sexual organs. Please never complain about size. It is never a disadvantage. Just pay attention to your spouse. Practice what we have presented so far, and you will see tremendous result. The point is keep knowing each other’s body, and enjoy it.
6. Once again, please go through previous articles. I am sure we can get it from the archives. Go to the net; browse The Guardian newspapers link and you can read previous articles. It is more than a year now; I believe you will find the answers you seek!
7. Keep sending the texts, questions and most importantly, prayer requests. I shall be praying for you and I strongly believe that a camel will pass through the eye of a needle, and water will taste like wine! Find fun and fulfillment.
E. C. SAMUEL
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