Guardian

BEING single can be very boring and lonely. Every lady has been there at some point in her life and I bet she didn’t really like it —- unless  she was taking a breather from a previous relationship. So are you still single and  tired of waiting for “The One?” Or maybe you’re married, but marriage isn’t as fun or exciting as you thought it would be? All you need is a trip back to the basics of love and happiness!

A friend of mine, ‘Funke’ told me recently: “Why are men so scared of commitment? Are all men jerks who can’t give up their freedom? Do men really only want sex?” Funke is one of the many frustrated ladies in the world who are approaching their 30’s and still haven’t found “the one.” And every time they ask me what they should do about the men in their lives, I smile and I try to find the most polite way to tell them that the guys are not the problem.

Now are you a frustrated single woman? Or a married one, and you’ve somehow “lost that loving feeling?” Then let me say it again: Most times, it’s not the guys who’s the problem. My advice is always the same: If you want to get married, don’t wait for the proposal before you start acting like a wife. If you want to get married in the future, you’ll have to act like a wife right now! And I’m not talking about pretending to be someone’s wife. I’m talking about being “wife-material”, being the kind of woman that every good God-fearing man out there wants.

So my question to you is, “Are You Wife Material?” Now, I know you might be thinking to yourself that no two women are exactly alike. My idea of ‘wife-material’ isn’t the same as another woman’s idea of “wife-material.” My answer: It doesn’t matter. Your idea of “wife-material” won’t help you get married. In fact, your idea of “wife-material” might actually be killing your chances at getting married! Let me say that again: It doesn’t matter what your idea of the term “wife-material” is. What matters is a man’s idea of “wife-material.” (After all, he’s the one choosing a wife not you!). Lots of women get married, but less than half of all wives are happily married. Who are those lucky, privileged, happily-married women? You guessed it -- they’re the women who took the man’s view of “wife-material” into consideration.  All they did was learn all about what men really want in a wife and then adjusted their lives to genuinely become the kind of woman all the good guys look for! Now let’s talk about the secrets of happy wives. Let’s start with four of the biggest mistakes that these smart women avoid at all costs:

Pretending

It’s one thing to try to be wife material, and a whole other thing to be wife material. So stop trying -- read, learn, and apply. As the success gurus would say: “Don’t talk about it —- BE about it

Showing Off

It’s okay to be happy about your relationship, but if you have to be sweet and touchy-feely with your man around his friends and family just to show that you “own” him, then you’re in trouble. The better men out there find this behavior distasteful, so avoid it.

Using The Wrong Language

* Saying “you” a lot. (“You’re so irresponsible.”)

* Rushing the relationship. (“When are you going to propose?”)

* Using “always” and “never.” (“You’re always busy. You never have time for me.”)

This language is poisonous to a man who is pondering marriage. Don’t scare him away.

Blackmailing

Most of us like getting even with our men when they’ve done something wrong. So how do you “get even” with your man when he makes you mad? Here’s a tip: Never, ever blackmail him. It’s lame, it’s low and unladylike. My advice: Stick to the silent treatment. Or better still, just talk it over. Good men listen!

Now, if you’re like most women, I can guess that you’ve made at least one of the mistakes I mentioned above. Or if you haven’t, then you probably know someone who had. What does that mean? It means it’s an epidemic! So many of us stay single or get stuck in unhappy marriages because in the eyes of men, we’re not “wife-material.” We make these horrible mistakes that make us look too unattractive and unappealing for marriage. We need to go back to the basics. We need to know what men really want in a wife. We need to re-learn the good, old-fashioned ingredients of a happy marriage and by doing that, we’ll have less single women out there.

Change your attitude today and be that kind of woman any good man would want to spend the rest of his life with.

To the best loving relationships we all deserve, good luck in love and life. Cheers.