Sunday, November 08, 2009              

The Loyalty To A Friend
By Abraham Akinlalu

THERE is this dictum that states, "A friend in need is a friend indeed." Again, I remember vividly when we were in the classroom, our teacher asked us to define the word friend with just a word and not sentence. Among other definitions we gave were: A relation, a confidant, a helper, a supporter, a guide, a guard, a benefactor, a mate, a peer and others, which by now I know that they were not relevant, hence I don't list them. With what we a have seen, some through friends have been so rich or poor, miserable or comfortable, grateful or ungrateful. We have read that some best men in marriage ceremonies have eloped with their bridegrooms' wives and on the other hand, some best ladies who have snatched the men of their brides. Some friends have sold their best friends to kidnappers or assassins or robbers all in the interest of having money.

There was a case of a lady who retired recently from the Federal Government and was given a large amount of money as gratuity. She confided in a friend who was her best lady during her marriage on what to do as a trade in order to have more money. Her friend had nothing doing because she had just lost all her savings to a group of fraudsters who promised to supply her with bags of imported rice at a "rock bottom" price. This was at the time the price of rice was like that of gold from Johannesburg. In order to help her, the fraudsters advised her to introduce them to someone who had enough money to pay for what they had taken from her. This had no any other person than a bosom friend who had told her that she had just collected her gratuity from the Federal Government. Like Judas who led the Pharisees and the Sadducees to Jesus, this treacherous lady led the fraudsters to her friend's house. While narrating the incident to us, she burst into tears and muttered," I never knew that Mrs. X could be so disappointing and merciless to me. We have been friends when we were in the elementary school. "The unsuspecting friend gave her gratuity to her bosom friend who came with young and handsome men. They were good looking facially but inwardly; they were ravenous wolves and accursed creatures. We could not hold our faces from rolling out waters when the lady concluded her story that she did not only give her gratuity to the fraudster but incurred another colossal sum of money.

It is not a story but something that happened between two friends. They both had a scholarship and went oversees for further studies. They both returned the same day and had appointments by the Federal Government, but under different establishments. They were both from the same state. While one was located to the home state, the other one was taken to Imo State, precisely to Owerri. They were both bachelors and visited one another in turns. Interestingly, they married on the same day in the same church despite the fact that they were not twins. Their plots of land stood in the same location. They had the same plan of structure and the friend at home was the one handling the supervision of the building. The one at Owerri usually sent her friend to her nucleus and extended members of the family. There had been cases or occasions when the friend at home would use his money for the building project before the other one would pay back. There had been cases when enemies of progress wanted to spoil their friendship but they would rather become stronger and united ever than before. After retirement from the government work, they formed a partnership and established a plastic industry. Their friendship was extended to their wives and children. Today their first sons are in charge of the industry while they stay at home enjoying the fruit of their labour.

David and Jonathan were loyal friends that we can easily point out in the Bible. Saul the first tribal ruler in Israel wanted his son Jonathan to succeed him. After the incident at Shochoh, the women sang that Saul had killed his one thousands, and David his 10 thousands, the spirit of jealousy enveloped Saul. He did not see David as his bodyguard but as a rival to the throne. He made every frantic effort to waste his life but each attempt proved God's support and protection over him - David. When he thought that he was failing in his trials, he declared a total war over David. The Bible mentioned some places where Saul pursued David. David became a fugitive. There was an occasion when Saul fell into the hands of David, but David would not harm God's anointed servant. David and Jonathan loved each other so much that Jonathan, empirically and symbolically removed his dress and put it on David and greeted David as his king. They made a vow in which each promised to remain loyal, even in the midst of crisis. There was the occasion when Saul wanted to kill Jonathan for allowing his enemy - David - to escape. Since God's word cannot be fulfilled even though delayed, it must surely come to pass, it was evident that he had wanted David to be on the throne. At Gilboa, father and son - Saul and Jonathan were killed in the fierce battle between the Israelites and the Philistines. David remained loyal to the family of Saul. He composed an elergy for the funeral of Saul and Jonathan, 2 Sam. 1:19-27. He later invited Melphibosheth, the son of Jonathan to sit at a table with him. He thus showed love and loyalty to a deceased friend.

The question can be asked, what type of friend are you? What type of friend am I? How honest and loyal are we to our friends? Note all the friends of Jesus deserted him on the eve of his arrest. Note also Jesus did not invoke thunder from heaven to consume these treacherous friends, but rather he said "father forgive them for they know not what they are doing". Lk 23:34. Jesus is the perfect friend we can have. He will never disappoint us or sell us to the devil. He intercedes on our behalf and washes us clean of all dirts and guilts. When other friends forsake us during trials, Jesus is there to fellowship with us, stand by us and help us to come out of our troubles.

Ven. Akinlalu is the Rector, Ibru International Ecumenical Centre, Agbarha-Otor, Delta State. ibrucentre@yahoo.com