ODUSESO: Parents Should Control Their Children

Titi Omodolapo Oduseso is the chief executive of RoyalBridge International. She is also a director with Gapbridge Private School Lagos. Her 25 years work experience has seen her transform from being a classroom teacher in different educational institutions to being principal of schools and proprietor. She spoke with BISI ALABI WILLIAMS on youth restiveness.

What is fuelling the noticed increase in crime related activities in the country?
AN idle mind is simply the devil’s workshop, so they say. Once we don’t engage our youths, they get themselves involved in crime-related activities. Society has changed, more emphasis are on material things, purchasing of expensive gadgets such as, phones, which come out almost monthly. Youths that have high taste want to keep up with this trend that comes very expensive to show that they ‘belong’ to the happening guys. How many parents can afford that kind of life for their children? Some do, though; however, only crime related activities could provide such money to buy expensive gadgets like iPhones, laptops, wristwatches, designers’ shoes and bags. To be part of that class and dress according to the fashion in vogue is not an easy task.

Also, parents are no longer there for their children; some spoil them by buying them expensive gifts, instead of giving them time to support their growth. It is like trade by barter, exchange for not having time for their children. These parents belong to the school of thought that says money can buy everything, whereas, they are only spoiling them. The so-called parents also run after money every hour of the day, this is the model the youths are following. There is too much focus on material things now. Virtues have changed, no monitoring by parents at home. They see new things with their children; some parents won’t even query that or ask their children how and when they acquired such things they know, ordinarily, these children can’t afford. This degenerates into more hardened crimes, cultism and scam.

How do we manage the situation?
Crime management is not only for security agencies, it should start much more earlier in secondary school. Today, secondary students are involved in cultism. How are we even sure that this has not gone into the senior primary schools too? Pupils that bully their peers should be watched not to develop into something else. Schools need more empowering activities, lectures, workshops and seminars to curb cultism and crime related activities.

Youth upbringing is for all stakeholders: schools, parents, guardians, teachers and religious bodies. Parents shouldn’t think it is the sole responsibility of schools to discipline the child, they should be involved too. Most homes can’t even control their children, they use teachers to checkmate them and mere mentioning of names of some tough teachers can easily check the child. Why is this so? Simply put, some parents have over pampered their children beyond normal; so, these children don’t see their parents again as role models.

Parents commit all sorts of atrocities in front of their children, drinking, smoking, womanising and vice versa. Some even abuse teachers, in the presence of the child, thereby, bringing down the moral of the teacher, and reducing them to houseboys or house girls in front of these children, some demonstrate how well connected they are in the society, thereby, giving the children room to be rude to these teachers. There should be a change in orientation. Private school owners also need to take into consideration welfare of their workers, especially, teachers not to be abused by the well to do homes.

Are religious groups missing the point?
Religious groups are doing their best, as can be seen with all the youth empowering activities they are putting in place to keep the children very busy and fully engaged so as not to give any room for other negative activities. I can’t rule out the Mountain of Fire Ministry’s General Overseer, Dr D.K. Olukoya, who is a lover of youths. He makes sure that they are always engaged in one activity or the other, if you are not singing, you will be dancing, playing guitar or piano.

The time spent learning these instruments keeps the youth engaged in church programmes and their study. So, they will have little or no time for themselves; and this will eventually keep them away from getting into trouble. Other religious leaders in the country are equally not left out in keeping youth busy. I give kudos to them! What then happens to the youth that has no interest in learning any music instruments or in religious related activities? Parents should ensure their wards are fully engaged to keep them busy throughout their schooling days.

Are parents and school authorities missing the point?
Getting back to the old days of good education will be difficult if every stakeholder does not cooperate. The school might be willing, and some parents are not willing to give them full support to properly discipline their children. Some will even tell you that, you can’t cane their children; you can’t punish them either or even scold them else such teacher will be in trouble. While other parents will say they agree that you should cane their children once they misbehave in school. Schools too have their own set rules, which parents don’t help to keep in some cases.

I have seen a parent abusing a school owner, not even the teacher in this case just because the child was punished in school. What kind of lesson is such parent teaching that child? Schools should be firm, no compromise in discipline, parents should be made to sign an undertaking of good behaviour at all levels, punishments for misconduct should be spelt out and copies of the rules given to parents.
Government too should be involved to ensure all security agencies training are extended to the youth. Visits to schools should be part of their routine in establishing the importance of knowing the punishment for every offence, while in school. All stakeholders must agree, be firm and ensure youth are given proper training, monitoring both at home, school and in the religious bodies. All parents should be seen as good models. Let’s correct children earlier with love, no pampering please.
Parents often say that in their days they suffer, they don’t want their children to go through such thereby spoiling their children to a fault. Is it not better to make them experience, which will make them strong for the future rather than spoil them and make them not to be useful to themselves and to these parents as well? House chores are now meant for only house-helps only in some homes. Children will wake up, watch TV, eat leaving plates to be packed and wash by housemaids, with nothing learnt in some homes. Is this how we were brought up in those days?
This will then bring about laziness, idleness and lack of training, for the girl child it’s even worst. Most can’t even boil water, let alone, cook anything, is that the kind of training you want to give to that girl who will be a mother in future? Most of these girls turn to fast foods for their families when they get married. Eating out is more in vogue than before, why? We all hustle for one thing or the other daily with little or no time for cooking, no attention for children anymore.
How do we get back to good old days of good education and proper raising of youths?
Let’s train up our children to be useful to themselves, us and to the society. It’s every parent’s responsibility, train up a child in a Godly way, so that when he or she grows up, he/she won’t depart from it. This is our heavenly responsibility as parents. Every country need to put youth empowerment in their policy, they are the future leaders, they need all we can offer them to sustain a good future and country, It’s never too late to do more for youth, Why not start now?